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I was totally ‘just-ed’ the other night… At

I was totally ‘just-ed’ the other night…

At dinner we got chatting to the couple next to us. They knew I was a mum. And apparently that was where I began and ended.

But I learned a lot about them! Their jobs, his teenage children, her work history, how they met, their lifestyles, hobbies and history of their cars. I also learned a lot about my husband’s work through the many questions they grilled him with!

But me?

I’m just a mum. So that was all they needed to know.

I left the conversation feeling annoyed and dismissed.

I didn’t like being ‘justed’, because I’ve been working so hard not to ‘just’ myself. Not to distil my entire life, my complexities, my worth into a title of ‘Me? Well, I’m just….student/a receptionist/his girlfriend/here part-time/a mum’. And then I realised, it was their loss really! We could have had some interesting chats.

But more importantly, it reminded me that it’s MY place to recognise my worth, not theirs.

Sure, I’m a child raising, life juggling, floor cleaning, kid hugging, ball dropping, big loving, book reading, snack keeping, knee plastering, tear wiping, climbing frame.

BUT I’m also a daughter, a wife, a business owner, a psychotherapist, a writer, a crap baker, a reader. I’m a humour-fuelled leopard print lover, a nervous motorway driver. A dreamer, a creator, a yoga lover. I’m a walker, a talker, a listener, a fidget, I’m fuelled by good weather. I’m more stuff that I can’t think of right now because I’m tired.

You’re never ‘just’ anything. NEVER. What ever title someone else may try and shoe-horn you into, however small you feel, it takes nothing, nada, away from the truth of the wonderful complexity of who you are.

Ps Reposting this because I talk to so many women who say to me that they are ‘just’ a mum.

On repeat: you are never ‘just’ anything.

Axx

#motherhood #mumlife #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodrising

I don’t care what you think. Well, I do really,

I don’t care what you think.

Well, I do really, but I care a lot less about what people think than I used to. People-pleasing is like being on a hamster wheel and not being able to hop off when you’re knackered. No amount of ‘thank you’s, or compliments will ever satisfy an insatiable people-pleasing hunger.

Just because someone doesn't like you doesn't mean you're unlikable.

Just because someone doesn't understand you, doesn't mean you're entirely misunderstood.

Just because someone is annoyed by you, doesn't mean you are annoying.

Just because someone doesn't accept you, doesn't mean you're unacceptable.

In the process of attempting to please everyone, you swerve from, deny and twist your own wants, needs and opinions.

You might please someone but in the process you’ve chipped away at your authenticity by saying and doing things that you know aren’t ‘you’. You are you. Be authentic to you. Care enough to be kind, but not enough to deny the beauty of your individuality and your uniqueness of character.

Work on accepting yourself and loving yourself, because then the hunger for other people to affirm, love and accept you becomes softer, and you’re less likely to look to others to tell you what you’re worth.

Authenticity is such a gloriously, accidentally, magnetic characteristic! So often, by addressing our desperation to please people, we end up being more authentically ourselves. And your authentic self is often far more attractive to others than the you who bends and twists yourself away to suit them.

Don't let a look, an utterance, a misunderstanding tell you what you're worth to the world. You're worth far more than that. I assure you.

How do you KNOW you're loveable, acceptable, likeable?? Because you dare to love, accept and like yourself. Everyone else's feelings are just an affirmation of that truth, not a dictator of it.

Ax

Ps This is an old post that I scrolled across that resonates with today’s podcast about caring less about what other people think. I’m a work in progress. How about you?!

#motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodthroughinstagram #mumlife #mentalhealth #instum #motherhood #quote #confidence

In this solo episode, following a period of person

In this solo episode, following a period of personal trauma and grief in my own life, I share my learning and reflect on my recent holiday where my family holidayed AND coped with our recent curveball in a public forum. How could I worry less about what everyone else was thinking about how my family and I were coping on holiday alongside the normal joyful and challenging moments that are part of our everyday lives.

Take a listen to hear my two ways to worry less about what others think.

We hope you find it helpful.

Anna x

#worryless #trauma #mentalhealthinmotherhood

Friday thoughts. We wait with baited breath for

Friday thoughts.

We wait with baited breath for the weekend, we hold out all winter for the sunshine of summer.

But maybe we need to find ways to do more loving the life we live in between?

Axx

Ps This is old post that I dug out as I do a Friday dance to some tunes!

In this Friday guest episode of The Therapy Edit,

In this Friday guest episode of The Therapy Edit, I chat to @celestpereiraphysio about the fascinating topic of neuroplasticity and the impact that your well-intended words can have on your child’s approach to pain. You’ll learn about the ‘Threat Bucket’ and how you can nurture your child’s confidence and pain tolerance in later life.

Celest is a self-confessed geek who loves anatomy, neuroscience and biomechanics. She miraculously acquired her BSc (Hons) in Physiotherapy in 2009, despite dropping out of school at 16. She found learning at school really tough, however now credits her ability to make complex concepts easy to grasp, down to her learning struggles. She runs regular education-based workshops where she takes current scientific research, anecdotal evidence from senior healthcare providers and applies them to movement disciplines. She’s currently specialising in functional neurology, learning how it can be applied to improve pain, health and performance.

You can find out about Celest’s app and all of her other services on her website which we’ve linked in the show notes and today’s stories.

I found this episode to be mind blowing and I learned so much. I hope you guys appreciate it too.

Thanks from both of us for listening.

Anna and Celest x

#podcast #neuroplasticity #pain #motherhood

As I sneak in and kiss my children before I head t

As I sneak in and kiss my children before I head to bed myself, I whisper inaudible pledges to do better tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will be the mother they deserve.

Tomorrow I will try harder and not fail them or myself.

How many times have you felt similar tidal waves of guilt and shame?

Well I’ve had enough for me, for you, for all of us.

This is exactly why I wrote my new book, Raising a Happier Mother.

By feeding ourselves a little more of what we need, by focusing on our own well-being, our parenting can flourish too.

What are you going to do for YOU today?

Axx

Anxiety used to rob me of all spare (and not so sp

Anxiety used to rob me of all spare (and not so spare) headspace. It swept away my sleep, and set me on edge when I could have been feeling joy instead.

If this resonates, where there is help, there is hope.

Whilst feeling impacted by anxiety sure is hugely, undeniably common, it does not need to be your day-to-day normal.

I have so many tips, insights and tools to share with you. The same things that have changed so much for me, and many of them I continue to lean on, and always will!

More headspace, more sleep, more joy!

Have a look at:

- My book ‘Mind over Mother; every mums guide to worry and anxiety in the first years’

- The Reframing Anxiety Course: 5 minutes a day for 3 weeks to completely shift the way you experience anxiety from annamathur.com

- The Little Book oNew Mum Feelings: Grounding words for the highs, the lows and the moments in-between

- The Therapy Edit podcast crammed with insights in short 10 or 20 minute episodes.

Ps I dug this out from last year because I needed the reminder and thought you might too!

Axx

#motherhood #selfhelp #therapy #anxiety #worry

A little overview of yesterday’s The Therapy Edi

A little overview of yesterday’s The Therapy Edit.

I know that often we can feel so anxious about the things that are ahead, we can really ruminate over the stuff that hasn’t yet happened, might happen, may never happen and it can occupy a lot of our minds.

In truth there will be a lot of curveballs.

But by implementing these things now, not only will you improve your general well-being but they will also help you weather the storms ahead, whether you know what those storms are, or not.

I dive into this so much more in my new book, Raising a Happier Mother and have so many ways to support you through bumpy times.

Axx

‘I haven’t got this’ One of the strongest a

‘I haven’t got this’

One of the strongest and most courageous things I ever said.

You’ve got this

But maybe you haven’t

Maybe you were never meant to. I love the term, it’s such an encouragement to hear when you’re finding something hard and you have to dig deep somewhere inside of your resources.

But also it’s totally okay not to ‘have it’, because sometimes ‘it’ is too heavy, too big, too toxic, too scary, too costly, too much for one person.

Sometimes the most brave and loving thing we can do for ourselves isn’t to ‘dig deep’ but wave the white flag.

REPOST from a few years back for those who need to hear it ❤️

Axx

#tookthispicforsomethingelseandlovedit #mumlife #instamum #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #motherhoodquotes #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness

In this episode of The Therapy Edit I share 5 piec

In this episode of The Therapy Edit I share 5 pieces of advice that really helped me navigate a recent curveball and period of grief in my life. I reflect on how this learning undoubtedly left me better able to cope and offers you tips on how to be better prepared to navigate stormy seas if they come your way.

We hope you find this episode comforting. If anxiety about the unknown is a big cause of stress in your life don’t forget that all my books will offer you coping mechanisms, Mind Over Mother in particular.

Lots of love

Anna x

#anxiety #maternalmentalhealth #motherhood #therapy

A little piece of sunday poetry ❤️

A little piece of sunday poetry ❤️

GIVEAWAY! Won by @cora_bee_c 🙌🏼❤️ I am

GIVEAWAY! Won by @cora_bee_c 🙌🏼❤️

I am popping into the wonderful @lrm_goods on Thursday and they’ve kindly gifted me their Pippa bum bag!

However, as I already have something similar, I’d love to take it in to get it personalised for you or a friend and I’ll post it to you with a signed copy of my new book.

Simply comment with yours or your friends initials that you’d like on this bag, follow @lrm_goods and I’ll pick a winner at random on Wednesday evening when the kids are in bed!

I LOVE this brilliant women-run business. They’re local to me and I’ve enjoyed seeing them go from strength to strength.

More about the bag - Made from the finest Italian pebbled leather, the Pippa Hip Bag comes with an adjustable leather strap, to be worn as a cross body or slung over one shoulder to suit your style. Big enough to fit all your essentials, it has a zipped inner pocket.

Xxx

Weekend thoughts. I know these things aren’t si

Weekend thoughts.

I know these things aren’t simple. But it’s good to think about the how.

Here are some tips about how to get space when there isn’t any:

- Turning off notifications and then allocating a time so you can focus and clear them.
- Sitting down and closing your eyes for 2 minutes. Your mind might be running at 100mph but the sensory deprivation is a tiny reset.
- Breathing deeply five times.
- Cutting a corner practically - a ready meal or a box cake for a birthday!
- Diarising a chat with a friend rather than playing phone tennis for days.
- Asking yourself what it is you need, and taking a small step to meet it (even acknowledging it is a way of valuing it).
- Letting feelings come and go without trying to stop, change or positive mental attitude your way through them.
- Book instead of scroll.

Ax

#rest #motherhood #busy #mumlife

I’ve not done this in years!! But here are 5 sma

I’ve not done this in years!! But here are 5 small biz shoutouts of businesses I’ve interacted with this week, all mum run!

1 - @flagstonetravel . After a shocker of a summer, I wanted something to look forward to next year. I discovered Sarah after seeing her recommended here, who lives in my home county! She has so much knowledge and helped us book a trip that will fit the needs of our family. She talked through the different options as I was worried about things feeling overwhelming for our ASD son (as we’ve experienced before!). We’ve just paid the deposit to go to @domesofelounda !! Here’s a pic of us in 2017. She invited me to pass on that they are offering up to 25% off if you book before October 13th, and if you say I sent you, she’ll add in a little something!

2 - @tanyawhitebits We were having a giggle in dms today! This tan has been a go-to for me for years! Super smooth and wears so well. I received her newsletter today offering up to 25% off their bundle deals. I love the dark rapid one, and love a winter glow. I’m not a fan of sunbathing, I’m a shade lover, so I even take it on holiday 🤣

3- @marcel.pacurar.14 I bought three lovely, handmade mugs from this designer. They were under £15 and have already bought us so much joy for those early morning coffees. I love the misshapen nature of them! I got them from Etsy.

4 - @milestone.moments.gb . Hannah is a long-time friend and I’m so incredibly proud of her venture. She juggles managing @theseahorseguildford and her two little boys, but gets so much joy from being creative, and so many people are enjoying her creations.

5 - @_mrs.ot I had the privilege of speaking at Kate’s first ‘Conversations with’ event. I was blown away at her thought, and her passion. Not only is she beautifully articulate in writing about the nuances of motherhood, but she has a deep, heartfelt desire to curate events that gently delve into the nitty gritty, equipping and encouraging mothers.

So! There are this weeks five. I might make a thing of it. Please feel free to share your business below, or recommend your go-to’s. Especially with (ahem) Christmas coming up.

Anna xx

Anna is a mum of three, and a Psychotherapist, Author and Speaker. She is a warm communicator with a passion for taking therapy out of the therapy room.

Her hope is that through words, spoken or written, people will experience light-bulb moments, learn about themselves and be able to find more freedom and enjoyment in life.

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