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Failure and guilt often fill gap between the stand

Failure and guilt often fill gap between the standards we hold for ourselves, and the reality of what we’re actually able to humanly live out.

Expectation - I’ll never be impatient with my kids
Reality - I do what I can to resource and regulate myself. I’m human. When it all goes to pot, I take responsibility and find ways to repair.

What expectations do you hold that are too high?

‘Raising a Happier Mother’, my recent book, is ALL about dismantling the fantasy version of motherhood that we can exhaust ourselves trying to attain, and injecting some humanness into it!

#motherhood #guilt #parenting #perfectionism

What would you add? As Christmas tunes eek their

What would you add?

As Christmas tunes eek their way into our ears, do you feel the tingle of stress? Are you overwhelmed at the thought of creating a magical Christmas for everyone? Perhaps you are yearning for space as the diary fills? Or wondering how you’re going to navigate a happy Christmas when you’re already frazzled and exhausted.

Here are five ways to fight the overwhelm and the perfectionism, and find a way to emerge from the festive season feeling good.

For more tips, listen to this week’s The Therapy Edit on stepping out of the fast lane this Christmas 🎄.

Axx

In this solo episode of The Therapy Edit I’m ack

In this solo episode of The Therapy Edit I’m acknowledging the ever intensifying incoming storm that is Christmas and offering my wonderful listeners advice on how to conserve their time and energy by stepping out of the fast lane.

I really hope it’s a help to you.

Anna x

#therapy #maternalmentalhealth #christmas #stress

This year I’m reminding myself that… It’s m

This year I’m reminding myself that…

It’s my Christmas too.
 We can spend so much time facilitating fun for everyone else that we end up feeling like we’re on the periphery.

Tomorrow’s newsletter is a reminder (along with some tips) on how to place yourself into the fun in big and small ways.

Here are 2 ways I’m adding myself back in:

1 - I wanted to make a wreath for the door but had no idea when I’d get round to it. So I turned it into a whole family activity. We foraged for branches and spent an afternoon winding pine fronds onto hoops with string. I’m not usually this creative, it felt very wholesome indeed! But I got my wreath, the kids made mini ones, and we all made memories.

2 - I’m coeliac so can’t eat gluten. I often ensure I’ve got lots of festive treats for everyone, but have sat down to meals with a half empty plate as I’ve not considered alternatives for myself, nor have I told hosts about my requirements. This year, I’m making sure I have nice options for myself too.

How are you going to insert yourself into Christmas this year, if historically you’ve felt a little on the periphery of the fun? (sign up to the newsletter, or listen to tomorrow’s episode of The Therapy Edit for more tips)

Anna xxxx

Oh the things I’ve not tried because of the stor

Oh the things I’ve not tried because of the stories I’ve believed about myself.

‘I’m rubbish at sport. I have no coordination’

Also me…. feeling a random drive to have a go at squash and figuring out that I LOVE it. I’m enjoying learning and seeing myself improve. I’ve never been excited about sport before!

It’s such a reminder to take a look at the stories you’ve always believed about yourself. ‘I have no willpower. I’ll always be anxious. I struggle to make friends. I’m a terrible cook. I can’t do maths’.

Where did these narratives come from? What if they weren’t as true as you believed?

What fun, what relationships, what headspace might you find if you choose to challenge, question or shed the unquestioned beliefs you have held?

I asked in stories whether anyone had tried anything new recently and the response was wonderful, so I thought I’d put it in a post so that you could share!

Anyone challenged an old story recently? What did you find?

I’ve been thinking about how often we delay doin

I’ve been thinking about how often we delay doing things that will benefit us somehow because we tell ourselves that we need to be a in a certain physical or mental headspace first.

I’m terrible at this. When I am going through a rough time and I KNOW that there are things I can do that would help with my mental health (namely eating more veg and exercising - both things I usually love investing in)…but I keep telling myself I’ll start tomorrow.

Slow sabotage. Sabotage in the ongoing behaviour, but also sabotage in the constant delay of change.

Change is always a challenge in some way. Always.

We may think, I can’t face the gym until I feel more comfortable in my body. I will start to try and think better, work on my mental wellbeing in January. I’ll change things tomorrow when I feel more energised, if I feel better about myself.

You are worth making changes, moving, doing, starting now.
Not when you’re less busy, happier, more energised. Not when it’s sunnier or when the New Year clock chimes midnight. The you that you are NOW, is worth making the changes you need to make.

To keep putting off making kind and positive changes is to procrastinate our way into self-sabotage where things pass us by. Things get harder and worse, and then we end up making changes out of hitting a messy rock-bottom rather than a motivation for self-care and investment.

Tone it down. Baby steps. Make it bite size. Take one day, one moment, one second at a time if that’s what you need. No wonder you keep putting it off if you’re facing a mountain. Be kind in the goals you’re setting.

To act is an act of self-love. And if self-love feels an alien concept, do it anyway and choose to trust that making changes will actually feed into a new cycle of worth.

So, lovely one, start where you are now. I’ll try too.

#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #wisdom #therapy #psychology #anxiety #anxietyquotes #anxietyhelp #depression #selflove #selfcare #selfworth #selfhelp

In this guest episode of The Therapy Edit, I absol

In this guest episode of The Therapy Edit, I absolutely loved chatting to @simonalexandero about his one thing; the power of your positive energy and how you can harness it to attract great things into your life.

Simon Ong is a Life Coach and Business Strategist, an author and a Dad!

He also runs an online community, Energize where he introduces you to the art and science of energy management. In a world where we are always ‘on’, Simon coaches you to work with your natural energy resources to recognize your most energized state - when to push and when to recoup - so that you can work sustainably towards your biggest goals.

He’s also the author of Energize; Make the most of every moment - check out the links we’ve added in the show notes and today’s stories.

And of course you should definitely follow @simonalexandero on these little squares.

We hope you love the listen.

Anna and Simon x

#podcast #positiveenergy #mentalhealth

AD If, like me, you’ve put off sorting out life

AD If, like me, you’ve put off sorting out life insurance because it feels… overwhelming, hard to know where to start, and a little anxiety triggering thinking about those worst-case scenarios, look no further.

@axis.protection.ltd are mum-run, and passionate about taking the job of sorting your life insurance or private health care off your plate and your shoulders for FREE? Did you know you can get a child only private healthcare policy from only £12.99 per month? (I didn’t!!).

They want to ensure that if the worst does happen, the road is made as smooth as possible regarding mortgage payments or medical care.

Fill in a simple form and the Axis Protection team will do all the research and jargon-busting, so you don’t have to.

Your adviser will be in touch to schedule a call at a time suitable for you, and will talk you through your life insurance or private medical insurance options, making it simple, straightforward and stress-free. Plus they’ll be on hand anytime you have any questions.

Head to Axisprotection.co.uk, and tick this job off your list once and for all so that you can get back to enjoying the things that matter most to you.

@axis.protection.ltd

Thursday thoughts by @yung_pueblo Also goes for

Thursday thoughts by @yung_pueblo

Also goes for when you’re hormonal, tired, frazzled…

Often when we’re tired we’re less defended against those critical internal thoughts. We can lean into feelings of failure or not-enoughness that we’d otherwise bring a bit of balance to.

Becoming aware of when these thoughts pick up is such a powerful tool, because you begin to know that when they rear their heads that little more loudly, it’s likely linked to your state rather than your truth!

I find this super helpful and thought you might too x

‘Get your own cheerios’ I said to my son. ‘I

‘Get your own cheerios’ I said to my son. ‘I’m emptying the dishwasher; you’re not doing anything!’

‘I am doing something. I’m lying on the sofa watching tv’.

I mean, it made me laugh. I loved the cheekiness, but I loved the truth more.

He was doing something in doing nothing. He was resting, enjoying, slowing, being.

It also made me laugh, because I talk all the time about rest being productive, rest being an active, doing-word, and here I was dismissing it.

I want them to learn that rest is valuable, that slowing down is productive, that doing nothing is sometimes better than doing something. And it seems they know this. It’s me that needs to keep undoing this narrative.

Axx

Decisions can feel extra overwhelming when we are

Decisions can feel extra overwhelming when we are worried about what others will think. We can find ourselves making choices based on how they might be perceived, rather than what actually feels right for you.

A question I often ask my clients who are struggling with decision making is ‘what decision would you make if nobody knew?’

This helps shine a light on whether we are choosing a route based on our authentic need and sense of what is right for us or our family, or because we are concerned about what others think. This question strips away all of the external noise and has us listening a little bit more to what feels right in our gut.

My book ‘Raising a Happier Mother’ will help you explore this further!

Also, check out this cosy jumper AD GIFTED to me by @sj_strum . She has collaborated with @betty_bramble to create the cosiest range of funnel neck hoodies that feel like a hug and have beautiful affirmations on the sleeve. These are created in honour of her sister Naomi who died of bowel cancer and who found these words so grounding. Mine says ‘just breathe’ and has prompted me many times today to catch my breath.

Wednesday thoughts…stop shrinking other peoples

Wednesday thoughts…stop shrinking other peoples words!

We minimise things all the time. Compliments, praise, encouragement, things people like about us, achievement… ‘Oh, I only got it from the sale’
‘I’m never usually that good, it was a fluke’
‘Don’t be silly, you’re far better’

It’s almost as if we need to try and shrink a compliment or devalue some praise.

What would it be like to accept words offered by others, instead of trying to squash the love out of them?

Uncomfortable to begin with, perhaps…but perhaps it would encourage us to value the way that others see us instead of dismissing it because it doesn’t match with our own view of ourselves. Perhaps it could have a positive impact?

You’re fab.
Thank you!
So are you.

Why not give it a go today?

Axx

#motherhood #mum #anxiety #depression #psychology #therapy #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawarenes #mentalhealthawareness #pnd #motherhood #mamalife #wisdom #compliments #selfcare #selflove #motherhoodunplugged #motivationalquotes

I find this tip so, so helpful. It’s simple, qui

I find this tip so, so helpful. It’s simple, quick and FREE and yet so many of us forget to do it. So today, your challenge is to LOOK UP.

Look up into the sky, notice the ever-changing clouds, the vibrant sunset or the glistening stars. Let your eyes wander and notice what inspires awe and wonder.

Allow the vast expanse above you to make you feel small, allow it to give you the perspective that there is an infinite world out there and we are finite.

Often we get caught in the tiny, mundane details of day-to-day life, but looking at the bigger picture can encourage us that we have a finite time on this earth, so why not live it to the fullest as and where and when we can.

So today, take a moment to stand still, to pause, to look up. Enjoy that sense of calm and wellbeing and let it ground you and bring some balance.

I delve into this much more in this week’s episode of The Therapy Edit. Give it a listen! xx

I used to think that my constant ‘doing’ was a

I used to think that my constant ‘doing’ was a sign of my huge love for my kids, but now I realise that my rest is what let’s me love them best of all.

Let’s get this lightbulb moment out there! It changes everything.

Further resources -
My book ‘Know Your Worth’
My website resources: ‘The mum guilt sofa session’, ‘Mothering the mother sofa session’ and ‘Overwhelm and burnout sofa session’
Listen to The Therapy Edit: 5 ways to get rest when you can’t.

Ps someone mentioned this video the other day and I thought we could all do with a little reminder xx

#motherhood #motherhoodunfiltered #gentleparenting #modernmotherhoodproject

Anna is a mum of three, and a Psychotherapist, Author and Speaker. She is a warm communicator with a passion for taking therapy out of the therapy room.

Her hope is that through words, spoken or written, people will experience light-bulb moments, learn about themselves and be able to find more freedom and enjoyment in life.

Courses

Reframing Anxiety
People-Pleasing
Week on Worth
Lockdown Mums
Happy New Mums Guide
Sofa Sessions

Podcast

The Therapy Edit

Books

Mind Over Mother
Know Your Worth
The Little Book of Calm

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© Anna Mathur LTD

2023

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