WHAT IS A NICE GIRL?
A Nice Girl believes she must put everyone first at all times regardless of the cost. She is thoughtful and sensitive to others; needing to ensure that they are happy. Friends and colleagues go to her for help, because she goes above and beyond. However, she finds it hard to ask for help from others as she doesn’t want to burden them.
A Nice Girl’s overriding fear is that she would hurt, upset or anger someone, so she apologises bountifully, often for things that aren’t her fault. A Nice Girl’s diary is littered with things she’s said ‘yes’ to regardless of whether she wants to do them, because she hates to let people down. A Nice Girl has a knot in her stomach made up of all the unspoken hurt, embarrassment and pain that she doesn’t speak about. She’s kind to everyone, but not that kind to herself.
Everyone says she’s lovely, and she is. But if they said it to her face, she’d brush it off. She wouldn’t believe it, because she doesn’t see it. She’s tired of being The Nice Girl, but doesn’t know how else to be.
If this resounds in any way. This course? I’ve written it for you.
WHAT TYPE OF COURSE IS IT?
I’m Anna, a Psychotherapist with over 8 years experience of working with women and a huge passion for empowering fellow Nice Girls. I run an Instagram page called @annamathur where I chat about mental health.
I was the Nice Girl for most of my life until I got sick of being in a cycle of burning out. I repeatedly gave too much of myself away, leaving little left to keep me going. I knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life living in a way that was so damaging to my sense of worth and identity. I started a process of addressing this, and as a result, I feel more ‘me’ than I ever have. I have interwoven my Psychological insight and experience as a therapist, along with my personal learning, so that I can gently challenge you on a habit of a lifetime.
I haven’t designed this course to knock the nice out of you, oh no! Nor will you suddenly transform into an overwhelming, loudmouth having discovered your newfound confidence. It’s designed to address people pleasing and increase sense of self and identity. It’s designed to strengthen your voice and encourage you to recognise that it has value, as do you.
HOW DOES IT WORK?
The three elements of The Nice Girls sessions:
Thoughts: This section gives you insight and gets you thinking. Grab a cuppa, somewhere comfy, and a journal. This is the meat of the course. Read it through a couple of times and scribble some notes.
Journal points: These points guide you in making the content personal. Daily journalling for the six weeks is strongly recommended to enable you to benefit most from the content. You don’t need to write extensively, bullet points will do.
Nice Girl challenges: These challenges get you to put the content into action and this is where you will see the most change in time. Be kind to yourself in the extent that you take on these challenges. You’ll grow in confidence each time.
The course length is for you to follow or play around with as you wish. You could take longer over the text, add extra days in between for journaling, or take breaks. There is no right or wrong way, just your way. The six weeks is just a guide, and will offer quite an intensive insight. If you need to take your time, please do so.
These concepts, tools, and insights have undoubtedly changed my life and the way that I feel on a daily basis. It’s not a quick fix. A lot of what we speak about will require on-going effort. The more you engage in each element of the course, the more you will experience shifts that will permeate your life.
1 – The Nice Girl problem: Why this course matters to you.
2- Critical conversation: Addressing your internal dialogue.
3- The people-pleasing con: The truth about people pleasing.
4- Vital vulnerability: Why vulnerability is vital.
5- Challenging perfection: Becoming comfortable with our messiness.
6- Growing strength and confidence: Continuing to grow.
You don’t need to feel like you’ve conquered each session, but make sure that you’ve given enough time to each element of the session before you hop to the next one.
Psychotherapist and passionate Psycho-educator with experience working in GP surgery, private practice and various charities. Speaking, running workshops and writing regularly on topics around maternal mental health, anxiety, depression and advising on general mental wellbeing (e.g. people pleasing, emotional resilience, internal dialogue, self-care)
- Accreditation with the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy)
- Masters in Psychotherapy & Counselling – Regent’s College London 2011
- Post Graduate Diploma in Psychotherapy & Counselling – Regent’s College London 2011
- Post Graduate Certificate in Psychotherapy & Counselling – Regent’s College London 2010
- Undergraduate Degree in Social Psychology – Loughborough University 2004-2007